And the two shall become three.... There’s so much to think about and choose between. What to think about and how to choose? Let’s simplify by exploring your physical, mental emotional and spiritual needs as you search for the mother you want to be.
Physical: Of course you want to be in glowing health during your pregnancy, for yourself and your baby, for birthing and for enjoying being a new mum. Practising pre-natal yoga, tai-chi, pre-natal belly dancing, aqua-fitness, walking, having regular pregnancy massages with lymphatic drainage, reflexology and osteopathy are all beneficial and creditable choices. Then what about the birthing environment? Hospital, home or something in between such as a birthing centre? Obstetrician, midwife, doula, support people? Take your time and begin with creating a vision board for the most wonderful birth experience you, your baby and your partner want. This will give you a foundation for your research of what and who is available in your area to support you in achieving your “birth vision”. Other levels of physical security such as finances, employment and housing all need to be addressed with sensitivity and empathy as relationships and roles change.
Mental: As much as it is important what a mother feeds her body, it is important what a mother feeds her mind and spirit. There are so many books, DVDs, magazines and the internet. Be guided by your intuition. Your mother “knowing” is heightened at this time and it is essential to trust your mother self. Choose information that is natural, inspiring, empowering and spiritual; information conducive to creating a harmonious environment of hope and joy. And choose practices such as meditation, visualization, hypnobirthing, calm birth, positive language and affirmations – all powerful tools for peaceful pregnancies, birthing outcomes and becoming a mother.
Emotional/Spiritual: During this exciting and often emotionally overwhelming and vulnerable time of deep change within yourself and in your outside life, it is important to surround yourself with caring, like minded people in a community where you feel supported and accepted. People with whom you can share your often conflicting and fluctuating emotions, your hopes, fears and dreams. It is important to become clear on spiritual parenting questions such as: What is mother love? What sort of mother do I want to be? What family and friend traditions, cultural and religious expectations do I want to take on? What are my beliefs about birthing – is it a fearful medically based experience or can it be potentially transformative in body, mind and spirit? It is important to heal, accept and forgive any issues with your own mother. Clarity with these questions will bring you closer to becoming the mother you aspire to be and will ease potential frustrations from any “shoulds”. Consider some of these wonderful practices for honouring and creating your spiritual journey into motherhood: include on your birthing vision board attributes you would like to see in your child, yourself and your family, journaling your pregnancy, dialoguing with and asking your baby questions, exploring your dreams which bring you validation and understanding, ceremony and celebration, such as a treasure box for your baby, belly casting, photos and mother blessings.
So as the two become three, and your search becomes clearer, I hope you are inspired to believe in yourself as the sacred, confident and joyful mother you are. Valerie Albrecht
Illustration by Tamara Trejo